Porno by Irvine Welsh

Whae widna enjae a Barry book that eh could read thigither wi eh's bairns on a nippy night?
All right, I'll stop there. It would be nice to write an entire review in Irvine Welsh's phonetic Scot style, but it's too much work for my wee brain.

Porno is sort of the "Very Brady Christmas Reunion" of the gang from Trainspotting. Wonder what Rents and Sick Boy have been up to? Need to know how Franco Begbie has been holding up in jail? Is Spud still a half-baked halfwit? Ten years have passed, and scarcely a lesson has been learned among the Leith schemers. Mark Renton, having handily escaped at the end of Trainspotting with the goods, has moved on to Amsterdam, where he's become a club owner. Spud Murphy is a twelve-stepper looking to set his life right. Simon "Sick Boy" Williamson is back in Leith doing what he does best, looking to run a new scheme. Everybody's favorite badass, Begbie, has just been released from prison. And nobody has broken their cycle of addiction. Spud is still finding hits here and there. Sick Boy has replaced heroin with cocaine. Rents is chasing after an ever-elusive domesticity, and Begbie still likes to kick the crap out of anyone who gets in his way.

The fun begins when Simon acquires a pub from an aunt who's leaving the country. He quickly discovers that he can use the place as a drug running station. But this is merely a stepping stone. Simon's friend "Juice" Terry talks him into using the bar for a true money-making enterprise: a stag film factory. Of course, Simon has far grander plans. He quickly ramps the slipshod handicam sleaze productions into full blown adult entertainment. Bigger sets. Better equipment. Even scripts. This is the backdrop for the A,B,C and D stories. Spud meets Simon and accidentally lets a dirty secret slip: Rents has paid him his share of the loot from the Trainspotting caper, but nobody else. Simon is furious. He plots revenge on Renton, but first plans to use him to aid production of the film. Begbie learns of Renton's treachery (with a little homoerotic bait to further enrage him, courtesy of Simon), and is intent on killing Renton. Spud is trying to turn his life around and win back his wife and child, while writing a history of Leith in his spare time. Add to the mix Nikki Fuller, a college student/massage parlor girl with low self-esteem and questionable moral judgment. The plots weave and separate as the film goes through drafts, production, and finally winds up at the Cannes Adult Film Festival.

It would take several pages to outline the plot of the book and do it any real justice. Suffice it to say that Welsh is up to his old tricks here. It's not for the faint of heart, and certainly not for the prudish. There are some truly heartbreaking moments in this book, some laugh out loud moments, and more than enough cringe moments. One of my favorite moments in the book combines all three. Spud's take on his rejection from a publisher: The letter says the book is "not quite what they're looking for at the moment". Ever-hopeful Spud calls the publisher and says :"...ye says that ye dinnae want it at the moment. So tae me that means thit ye might want it later. So, likes, when is it thit ye think ye might want it?"

Welsh does what he does best: pushes buttons and pushes boundaries. The fate of the boys plays out amidst murder, rape, near overdoses, booze, romance, politics, drugs, drugs, and drugs. It's a love, story, a crime story, a mystery, and a romance as only Irvine Welsh could tell it.